The guilt game no more!

I was just over visiting a beautiful blog Aux petits oiseaux I found through a talented blogger friend of mine littleredcaboose

Claudia was discussing parental guilt. She wrote a wonderfully honest post about her fears regarding the loss of freedom when taking on the role of 'parent' It is a topic that resonates deeply with me, not because I disagree but because I have lived in this wave of guilt since (to my complete astonishment) I found two pink lines staring back at me from a pregnancy test back in 2003.

After the two pink line discovery my initial emotion was joy (I even danced with the cat) and then reality set in and I found out the life I planed had in a moment...changed...completely! I don't think I have ever given up entirely the disappointment of losing my planned education and vagabond travels. As well Kevin and I both grumble on occasion over lost sleep and the all encompassing child schedule. Occasionally on some dreary afternoons I even find myself mentally tallying the number of tasks I have performed in the name of motherhood. I've been known to mentally grumble when people say 'ya but when they are grown you will be able to _____" fill in the blank with sleep/travel/go back to school etc...etc... And then dum, dum, dum the guilt sets in I look around and chastise myself for being so impatient and unappreciative of my blessings.

Now wait this isn't one of those 'look how blessed you are!!!" posts!
{which I do know I am it's just not what this post is about}

what it is...is an admition of guilt, guilt at hating mountains of laundry, cooking unappreciated meals and sometimes disliking my role as taxi driver because as cute as my little monkeys are, sometime I want to be in a cafe in France or just down the street. AND YOU KNOW WHAT that is normal. I don't think anyone anywhere goes through everyday without feeling maybe the grass is greener or that the changes in there lives are too great for this moment.

Soooo...

I am choosing to treat my 'guilty dreams of freedom' thoughts as my very cool yoga instructor (Mike) has asked us to treat all thought during our practice.

Look at the thought,
take a moment to acknowledge it,
release emotions about the thought,
then release the thought.

I think releasing parental guilt is much like forgiveness. It isn't something done once but practiced regularly.

*One final note every ounce of youthful freedom lost can be overshadowed with joy when you stop take a breath and just gaze at the gift that is your child.*